When I'm Very Angry...

Journal entry...

4-26-2001

Day 9

  When I’m very angry I tend to hold my feelings in until I can’t take it anymore. It starts with simple effects like gritting my teeth or clenching my fists. Depending on what other things may be going on with me to trigger my anger, it could be seconds or months before I lose it. When I finally lose it, my reaction could be anything from yelling at someone, hitting them is a rare and unusual occasion, or just breaking something. The real damage happens internally due to holding everything in. I know I drive faster when I’m angry too. I also tend to chain smoke. I try to vent sometimes, but it doesn’t always help. That varies depending on the response I get from the person I’m venting to. They could give me positive responses and be calming, or they could give me negative responses and push me further into anger. I also tend to use drugs and alcohol more often when I’m angry and that’s never a good thing, because it masks my true emotions that much more.

(Counselor Note - Why doesn’t venting always help?) 

~J. Doe

~J. Doe