4-20

Journal entry...

4-20-2011

Day 3

  Today is 4-20-2011, also known as a pot smoking holiday. I used to know the history of the 4-20 celebration, but it’s history has slipped my mind at the moment. Typically in the years of the past I would be spending the majority of the day smoking marijuana. It usually turned into an all out day of partying. So I, for once more, can say I am glad I am here at this point in time. Rather than not knowing for sure how far my partying would have gone this time. There have been a number of instances since I have been locked up that I have said that I’m glad to be here right now. I’d hear about something bad happening outside of prison and just be glad I’m here, alive for one more day.

~J. Doe

My Real Fear.

Journal entry....

4-19-2011

Day2

  Right now I’m feeling sort of confused as to what I’ll write about in my autobiography. I know it’s suppose to be about me, but what I’m talking about is what type of content to use. My life has been all over the place, and I’ll admit it’s consisted of a lot of partying. I’m really afraid that what I’m going to write about isn’t going to be what’s expected. I guess my real fear is being a failure. A failure of the assignment, a failure of this program, a failure to my family, and a failure to myself. I hope I start to see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel so I can stop worrying. The anxiety and worrying I have of failing has plagued me throughout my life. I’ve failed so many things because I feared I wouldn’t complete them, so therefore I wouldn’t even start them. The fear and anxiety has consumed my life and the time I should be using to complete the projects. If I don’t learn to control this, I’ll never get anything done.

(Counselor Note - You write about YOU! What have you failed at? Or could be a chapter in your autobiography.)

~J. Doe

Moving On Up!

Written on April 23, 2011,

   Well, I actually was moved to the program floor on Monday, April 18^th. I finally started my program that day. I met everyone who was in my group and slowly, throughout the day, I met the other 30 inmates that are in other groups. There are four groups with ten inmates in each group. So far we have watched two movies in our group and had to write “Reaction Papers” on them. How we can relate to the movie. Then we wrote a three page paper on “Why we are in the Earned Release Program and what we expect to get from it”. To top it off, we also have to keep a Daily Journal. We were taught the difference between a diary and a journal and given examples of things to write about in our Journal. We also have been assigned our big assignment. An autobiography! Not just a typical, quick, run-through of our lives chronologically, but an alphabet autobiography. Basically, we have to use the twenty-six letters of the alphabet, come up with subject words that begin with each letter, and write a chapter for each letter. Our Social Worker that runs our group expects us to be thorough but wouldn't give us an exact number of pages to be it. He only said the average number of pages has been 67 pages in his past groups. I'm the second youngest member of any of the groups he has had here, so I hope he has kept this in mind. I have half the timespan to write about! I don't doubt I could write hundreds of pages about myself, but with everything else I have to do, I don't know if I have enough time. I'll write more tomorrow, I promise. The lights just went dim since it's 10:00 P.M., so it's hard to see.

Until tomorrow...

~J. Doe