Sign of Accomplishment

Journal entry...

5-18-2011

Day 31

  Today we had a couple of new guys come in for the group that starts next week. To me it was a small sign of accomplishment. Seeing them come in reminded me that a new group will start, then another will end. After that, it’ll happen all over again. Each time it’s almost like a stepping stone to me, signifying the passing time and to being that much closer to completing the program and seeing my family again. That thought makes me as happy as possible right now. I can’t wait for them to really see how much I’ve changed. I feel different everyday, and it’s mostly for the better. I’m gaining some of my confidence back, but at the same time I’m being careful not to be too confident. That can be one of my downfalls, thinking I’ve got everything under control.

~J. Doe

Homework

Journal entry...

5-13-2011

Day 26

  Well I tried to get my homework out of the way but the area of our workbook that was assigned requires some type of group discussion that never took place. So unfortunately, those pages never got done! Although, I did manage to get all of the other homework finished that was assigned to us and isn’t due for another week and a half. That makes me feel good, but I wish I could feel some sort of relief from the stress of the non-stop homework. I don’t even have much time to socialize or work-out anymore.

 ~J.Doe

I Have a Bad Feeling

Journal entry....

4-18-2011

Day 1

  I already have a bad feeling about this group. 

  I’m scared that I’m going to be overwhelmed with so much homework that I’ll end up falling behind to the point of not being able to catch up. My number one fear going into this program is that I’ll try my hardest to work with the program, but it won’t be enough. Feeling like a failure is a huge trigger for me and I hope I can work beyond that too. 

  My second biggest fear is that I’ll complete the program, but it won’t be enough to stop me from going back to my old ways. I hope I can work on my insecurities and build some confidence in myself before I get out as they affect me in here as well as out there. I hope I fall into some kind of routine here soon so I don’t feel like I’m all over the place and don’t feel like I’m being caught off guard all of the time.

(Counselor Note - Depends!)

~J. Doe

Moving On Up!

Written on April 23, 2011,

   Well, I actually was moved to the program floor on Monday, April 18^th. I finally started my program that day. I met everyone who was in my group and slowly, throughout the day, I met the other 30 inmates that are in other groups. There are four groups with ten inmates in each group. So far we have watched two movies in our group and had to write “Reaction Papers” on them. How we can relate to the movie. Then we wrote a three page paper on “Why we are in the Earned Release Program and what we expect to get from it”. To top it off, we also have to keep a Daily Journal. We were taught the difference between a diary and a journal and given examples of things to write about in our Journal. We also have been assigned our big assignment. An autobiography! Not just a typical, quick, run-through of our lives chronologically, but an alphabet autobiography. Basically, we have to use the twenty-six letters of the alphabet, come up with subject words that begin with each letter, and write a chapter for each letter. Our Social Worker that runs our group expects us to be thorough but wouldn't give us an exact number of pages to be it. He only said the average number of pages has been 67 pages in his past groups. I'm the second youngest member of any of the groups he has had here, so I hope he has kept this in mind. I have half the timespan to write about! I don't doubt I could write hundreds of pages about myself, but with everything else I have to do, I don't know if I have enough time. I'll write more tomorrow, I promise. The lights just went dim since it's 10:00 P.M., so it's hard to see.

Until tomorrow...

~J. Doe