Chapter Twenty-Four: X-Mas – Christmas With My Family

Chapter 24 of the Autobiography... Letter X, X-mas..

Chapter Twenty-Four

X-Mas – Christmas With My Family

  Every year the plan is usually the same. On Christmas Eve we all gather at my Grandpa’s house (Dad’s Dad) and we spend an hour or two there. We chat for a short while and the grandchildren usually end up in the basement where the pool table is. I come from a family of competitive pool players. I never spent a whole lot of time in the past actually visiting with my grandpa on these nights. It always seemed like I was putting on a front for the rest of the family. After leaving Grandpa’s house we would head to my Grandma’s (Dad’s Mom) where the rest of the crazy bunch were located. 

  Her house is significantly smaller and they always try to stuff twenty to thirty people inside. It’s so crowded that it makes me feel claustrophobic. I usually stand in the kitchen the whole time. It’s breathable and it’s within close distance of the backdoor that everyone stands outside of while they’re smoking. Some years we spend more time there than others, but I’ve found myself wanting to be there less and less over the years. Mostly because of the people and how they act while I’m there. It always seems like a big bitch session (sorry for those of you who are reading this, I’m just being honest). 

  Before eleven that night my immediate family usually takes off from there, heading to their respective homes. I usually spend the night out with my brother on most years. We find some Christmas party to go to, or some bar that’s serving. The next morning everyone eventually congregates at my parents’ house. My cousin Mike has spent Christmas with us ever since I can remember too. We never start opening gifts at the time we plan to because my brother is always fashionably late. My brother, sister, and I still get stockings that my mom fills with the smaller gifts. We’re allowed to open those before the main gift opening comes when everyone gets to the house. When we start opening gifts though, we try to spread them out so everyone gets to open one at a time. No one person gets piled on with a ton of gifts at one time then. Dad takes lots of pictures as he’s always been interested in photography and has a great camera. The little ones Logan and Allyson have more fun opening the gifts than they do with the gifts themselves it seems like. After we clean up the wrappings and pile up each of our gifts then the table gets set for dinner. 

  We generally have an early afternoon dinner because most of us are so exhausted from the usual holiday stress. It’s not uncommon for a few of us to fall asleep after dinner for a mid-afternoon nap either. I like how we spend our Christmas Day at home with our family. I hope we can continue doing this for as many years to come as possible. This time of year has been a big deterrent of me moving too far away. I’m afraid I’ll miss my Christmas with my family. Now here I am in prison where it is impossible for me to spend Christmas with them. I hope that changes and I can spend the rest of my Christmases with my family too.

Chapter Nineteen: Sister – Being Her Personal Bodyguard

Chapter 19 of the Autobiography... Letter S, Sister.

Chapter Nineteen

Sister – Being Her Personal Bodyguard

My sister was born named Rebecca Jo, on April 6^th, 1987, in the same hospital as my brother and I were. She is by far the most important young woman in my life and I would die protecting her. While growing up I spent a lot of time hanging out with my brother, but there was a period of time that I hung out with my sister more too. I always wanted to be there to protect her as much as I possibly could. When we were young and she would be in an argument with one of my parents, I would even do something to draw the attention away from her. They would then be all eyes on me and instantly forgetting anything she may have done. 

  One afternoon while at my Grandfather’s house, we were all hanging out in and around his new in-ground swimming pool. At the time my sister didn’t have too much experience swimming on her own yet. Somehow while alone, she managed to slip out of her floating inner tube and sank to the bottom of the pool without anyone noticing. Luckily a moment later I saw her at the bottom of the pool. So I dove in and pulled her out of the water. She gasped for air a few times and coughed up water, but all in all, she was okay. Beyond scaring me half to death, everything ended up fine that day. All through her life I’ve tried to stay close to her so I could protect her. If she had problems with someone at school she would simply ask them, “Do you know who my brother is?” and nine out of ten times it would stop and I wouldn’t have to intervene. There had been a few other times that she’s called on me to handle some out-of-line person who was disrespectful to her too, but it never ended up being that serious. I’ve always respected my sister’s choice in boyfriends too, but not a single one went without a sit-down with me. I simply would warn them that if they gave my sister problems, they would have to deal with me, and if they hurt my sister, I would hurt them worse than they could ever imagine. She never had any issues with any of them really… She was the heartbreaker. When she met the man who is now her husband, I let her tell me all about him, then I got my own first impression. He never needed to have that sit-down all of her other boyfriends had, because I could tell he wasn’t like the rest. He was respectful, honest, outgoing, caring, and that he truly loved my sister, and her son. When she chose to marry him, I couldn’t even question her decision the slightest bit because I knew they were meant for each other and that he was exactly the kind of man she’s always deserved. Since their marriage, her husband has legally adopted their son Logan who is four years old, and they also have a daughter together name Allyson who will be turning two in July. These two kids mean the world to me and I hope they will learn from my mistakes and that I can grow to be a great role model for them as well. I see so much of who I used to be as a child in my nephew Logan.

Easter Sunday

Journal entry...

4-24-2011

Day 7 Easter Sunday

  Today I had an excellent phone call home. My whole immediate family and one of my best friends were at my house cooking out for Easter Sunday. I don’t get a chance to talk to my brother, sister, or my friend Jordan either, as they aren’t usually at my house when I call. It made me feel really good to talk to them and hear their concerns about my wellbeing. It only shows that they care. I get a chance to talk to my brother every few weeks at most so it made me feel at ease when I heard he was being optimistic since I last saw him a month ago, as he was arrested for an OWI the night that he came to visit me. I was happy to hear from Jordan as well, and especially glad to find out he has been staying out of trouble, staying sober, and spending lots of time with his newborn son. This means a lot to me because I don’t want any issues to arise that may make me feel uncomfortable to be around either of them after I get out. The highlight of my day was talking to my nephew Logan. He told me that he loved me and he misses me. It made me want to cry honestly. I told him I should be home by Halloween so we can go trick-or-treating together. I haven’t seen him since October 30^th of last year since that is the day I was arrested.

(Counselor Note - Huh?)

~J. Doe

Prison Cell Cooking: Tacos!

Written on March 5, 2011....

   Today I signed up for a phone call at 6:00PM so I can tell my family of the outcome of my staffing yesterday. I slept all morning after breakfast until lunch. Then after lunch my cellmate went to a visit to meet his step-mother. He hadn't met her ever before, apparently. So his Dad and her came today. Unfortunately he missed Rec due to this again. I had to give him shit about it later and told him he'll have to work out twice as hard Monday. LOL!

   The rest of my day was spent reading for the most part. I got a letter and greeting card from my Mom saying this was the first week she hadn't received a letter or call from me and she was worried. After sealing her envelope, she must have gotten my letter, because she wrote, “Just got your letter today” on the back of her envelope. I couldn't wait to call home at that point. I don't like my Mom worrying about me. So at 6:00PM I called home and talked to her for a while about my staffing. She seemed neutral about the whole thing. She is mysterious in that way. You can hardly ever tell how she feels about something and she usually keeps what she thinks to herself, unless you ask. So since I didn't ask, I don't know. We talked about my brother and his job, and my Dad and his ongoing medical problems. The conversation was happily ended by me talking to my favorite nephew, Logan. “Logi Bear” was telling me how he was playing his game on the computer with his Nana. I told him I missed him and loved him, and hoped I could see him soon. He replied likewise and nearly made me cry. I miss him so much!! I ended the call as usual by telling my Mom I loved her and would write or call when I knew more about what was going on.

   For the rest of the night I kept thinking about my nephew and the phone call. Later I made prison-made tacos. I used Raman Noodles, jalapeño chips, cheddar cheese, and Cheetos. I mixed them together and added water to cook them. Once I let it sit and it got thick, I split it in thirds. One for the swamper, one for my cellmate, and one for me. We each wrapped ours in flour tortillas, crumpled Doritos over the top, and added hot sauce. It was delicious! I got compliments from both of them, along with others from the unit who could only smell them. After eating, I cleaned up and read my book until after midnight when we shut off the light.

Until tomorrow...

~J. Doe

In Time of Test, Family is Best.

Written on February 26, 2011....

   I woke up today thinking about nothing except my potential visit. The weather has been nice all week, and we have blue skies this morning. So as long as my brother's schedule at work doesn't conflict with coming to see me, my Mom and he should both be here today.

   After breakfast I reluctantly went back to sleep. I was afraid they would come tell me I had a visit, but not give me time to brush my teeth and whatnot before it. I woke up for lunch and the swamper came and told me I had a visit. But when the Sgt. came to get me, he said it was a visit for my cellmate, not me. So I went to lunch and he went to his visit. After lunch I prepared for Rec while admittedly hoping they told me I couldn't go because I had a visit instead. I went down and worked out hard while trying to sidetrack myself from the fact that I saw that it was now snowing and I probably wouldn't get a visit. After Rec I came back to my cell and was about to get ready to shower when the Sgt. Came and told me I had a visit! I was so happy to see some of my family!! I hadn't seen my Mom in over a month, and my brother since October. We talked about a number of different things. His new job, people we both know on the “outside”, how the family is doing, how this blog is doing, and how things are inside here. It didn't matter what we were talking about, in my opinion. I was just happy they were here! Our visit was over at 3:30PM, so we said our “I love you”s and goodbyes, and I went back to be strip-searched prior to returning to my cell.

   I had dinner right after coming back, so I gave my meal away since I had had a burger during my visit. I also got another letter and more pics from my Mom when I got back. The rest of my night was spent reading and occasionally looking at my pictures. There is one of my nephew who looks like he is trying to make a scary face for the pic, or he's trying to scare whoever is taking the picture. Either way, I can picture him saying “RAWRRRRR....” when I look at it. So every time I look at it, I say just that: “RAWRRRRR”! It makes me laugh just thinking about him doing it! I bet my cellmate thinks I'm crazy though. Anyway, now for some more reading until bed.

Until tomorrow...

~J. Doe