Chapter Twenty-Four: X-Mas – Christmas With My Family

Chapter 24 of the Autobiography... Letter X, X-mas..

Chapter Twenty-Four

X-Mas – Christmas With My Family

  Every year the plan is usually the same. On Christmas Eve we all gather at my Grandpa’s house (Dad’s Dad) and we spend an hour or two there. We chat for a short while and the grandchildren usually end up in the basement where the pool table is. I come from a family of competitive pool players. I never spent a whole lot of time in the past actually visiting with my grandpa on these nights. It always seemed like I was putting on a front for the rest of the family. After leaving Grandpa’s house we would head to my Grandma’s (Dad’s Mom) where the rest of the crazy bunch were located. 

  Her house is significantly smaller and they always try to stuff twenty to thirty people inside. It’s so crowded that it makes me feel claustrophobic. I usually stand in the kitchen the whole time. It’s breathable and it’s within close distance of the backdoor that everyone stands outside of while they’re smoking. Some years we spend more time there than others, but I’ve found myself wanting to be there less and less over the years. Mostly because of the people and how they act while I’m there. It always seems like a big bitch session (sorry for those of you who are reading this, I’m just being honest). 

  Before eleven that night my immediate family usually takes off from there, heading to their respective homes. I usually spend the night out with my brother on most years. We find some Christmas party to go to, or some bar that’s serving. The next morning everyone eventually congregates at my parents’ house. My cousin Mike has spent Christmas with us ever since I can remember too. We never start opening gifts at the time we plan to because my brother is always fashionably late. My brother, sister, and I still get stockings that my mom fills with the smaller gifts. We’re allowed to open those before the main gift opening comes when everyone gets to the house. When we start opening gifts though, we try to spread them out so everyone gets to open one at a time. No one person gets piled on with a ton of gifts at one time then. Dad takes lots of pictures as he’s always been interested in photography and has a great camera. The little ones Logan and Allyson have more fun opening the gifts than they do with the gifts themselves it seems like. After we clean up the wrappings and pile up each of our gifts then the table gets set for dinner. 

  We generally have an early afternoon dinner because most of us are so exhausted from the usual holiday stress. It’s not uncommon for a few of us to fall asleep after dinner for a mid-afternoon nap either. I like how we spend our Christmas Day at home with our family. I hope we can continue doing this for as many years to come as possible. This time of year has been a big deterrent of me moving too far away. I’m afraid I’ll miss my Christmas with my family. Now here I am in prison where it is impossible for me to spend Christmas with them. I hope that changes and I can spend the rest of my Christmases with my family too.

Dropping a Duece and Being Compassionate Towards Others.

...continuing from the writings of January 25, 2011

  Lunch time came before I could shower so I'm first after lunch.  I get a clean towel, wash cloth, underwear, t-shirt, socks and pants.  After showers we had head count and my cellmate got yelled at again for talking.  Then, I laid down, read a chapter in my book and took a short nap.

  I woke up around 2:00 PM and had to use the toilet (#2.)  So, I took a blanket and hung it on the end if the bunk to block the toilet from my cellmate.  Then I tied the sheet to the corner of the bunk and the other edge of the door to block the toilet from anyone looking in the door.  Next, I climb inside to handle my business, always remembering to flush once when I drop one.  It keeps the smell down.  When I was done I couldn't help but notice the 2nd shift C.O. was passing out mail but he conveniently passed my cell since neither my cellmate or I had any AGAIN today!

  Next was canteen distribution, nothing special.  Check your bag to be sure everything you ordered is in it and if it isn't all there you can refuse the whole order until next week or live with it.  Most will just live with it instead of not getting anything.  Sign your receipt and get your Inmate I.D. stamped on any envelopes you bought.

  Afterwards, I just played solitaire for an hour or so, at least until dinner.

  I tossed a bag of chips to the kid across the hall when we left to chow.  (As we have been told previously, sharing is now a no no. ~ 3rd party)  His family hasn't sent him anything so I figure $0.58 for some chips is the least I can do. 

  After chow I had some Ramen Noodles and chips to finish filling me up.  The swamper just came around filling up everyone's glass with ice so that's my cue to wrap this up and lay down while I read some more of my book.  I hope this is as interesting to everyone reading this as it's been for me logging it.

  Until tomorrow....

~J. Doe

Sunday is a Day of Rest... and Loneliness

Writings from the day of Sunday, January 23, 2011,

  Today nothing really special happened.  Three meals as usual and that's the only time we got out of our cell.  The swamper came around this morning and asked my cellmate if I wanted to go to church.  He told me I 'wasn't on the list.'  I finally got my 'Institutional copy' of the Bible on Friday after asking for three weeks.  I'm glad I now had my own.  Now that they finally got that distributed to me maybe they'll finally call me out for a different church service sometime this week.  Only time will tell....

  There was no mail distribution today since no one gets mail anywhere on Sundays.  Hopefully something comes tomorrow.  It's always nice when you get mail when you're in prison.  Even if it's someone cussing you out, a lawyer responding to a legal claim or someone who actually cares.  At least when you get some mail in prison it reminds you that you haven't just been locked up and forgotten.  So, for those of you who are reading this and know someone in jail or prison, take a few minutes today and write them a letter.  Let them know you are thinking about them.  I promise you, you will brighten their day significantly.

~J. Doe

The Evening Comes Along With a Headful of Thoughts.....

the final writings of January 22, 20011...

  For dinner we had sloppy joe's, potato chips, green beans with gravy, cake and a roll, with another carton of milk.  After choking down my meal and coming back to my cell the night was pretty slow.  We had standing count at 5:30 PM.  Then, I had to start writing this since my cellmate decided to take a break from his rapping and fell asleep.  I wrote a few pages of this log and then started to make a snack.  I made 2 packages of Ramen Noodles.  One Chili and one texas beef, enough to keep me satisfied for now.  While the noodles cooked I read a few chapters in my book.  Then, after eating, I wrote a little more in here on and off. 

  I often catch myself laying on my bunk daydreaming of all the 'what ifs,' the 'could'ves, would'ves and the should'ves.'  I know that is the point in prison sentences to some extent but, dwelling on these thoughts for so long gets to be sort of self-destructive.  I allow my mind to punish itself for so long but I try to distract it by reading or writing before I allow my mind to spiral out of control and send myself into a negative thought process.  I played a few games of solitaire, read a little more of my book and wrote some more.

  Unfortunately my cellmate had to be woke up for 9:00 PM standing count.  Now he'll be up all night!  I'm just glad he leaves soon to boot camp.  He definitely needs it!  It's now 9:30 PM or so.  I forgot to mention that the swamper comes around between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM giving everyone a cup of ice and toilet paper if they need or want any.  I think I'm going to read a little of my book and try to get some sleep before my cellmate gets into telling his 'tall tales' again.  I guess impressing my cellmates with stories filled with lies and exaggerations just was never my thing.  Anyhow, I'll write more tomorrow for those who are still interested.

~J. Doe

("hello, world")

I am the "3rd party." I plan to post in this blog as little as possible but I also felt the need to at least introduce myself... as little as an introduction of another anonymous person does. As it has been said in the description, names of people in this blog will all be changed for everyone's safety and well being. If you do not think this is necessary then maybe you should follow this blog for that fact alone and feel free to share any feedback. For those who understand the necessity then you too are more than welcome to follow and give your own feedback as well.

The first entries of this blog will go back a bit as we try to catch up. I hope this does not get too confusing.

I offered to write this for a few reasons but one thing that really stuck in my mind is that maybe, with this blog to look back on, the true author can grow from it. In addition I hope it can keep others, if only one, from following a path that will put yourself in the same situation.

I'll add that others also mentioned that just writing this while in the prison system will be therapeutic. I agree for a few reasons but one that comes to mind is how it is commonly said that jail and prison systems breed criminals. I have to agree with this to a point. Think about it, you throw a bunch of people convicted of crimes together to... well... basically hang out for days on end. What do they have to do? Probably talk crime.

Well let this blog breed a different breed. Let it be therapeutic. Let it lead the author and others on a different path.

~ "3rd Party"