The Evening Comes Along With a Headful of Thoughts.....

the final writings of January 22, 20011...

  For dinner we had sloppy joe's, potato chips, green beans with gravy, cake and a roll, with another carton of milk.  After choking down my meal and coming back to my cell the night was pretty slow.  We had standing count at 5:30 PM.  Then, I had to start writing this since my cellmate decided to take a break from his rapping and fell asleep.  I wrote a few pages of this log and then started to make a snack.  I made 2 packages of Ramen Noodles.  One Chili and one texas beef, enough to keep me satisfied for now.  While the noodles cooked I read a few chapters in my book.  Then, after eating, I wrote a little more in here on and off. 

  I often catch myself laying on my bunk daydreaming of all the 'what ifs,' the 'could'ves, would'ves and the should'ves.'  I know that is the point in prison sentences to some extent but, dwelling on these thoughts for so long gets to be sort of self-destructive.  I allow my mind to punish itself for so long but I try to distract it by reading or writing before I allow my mind to spiral out of control and send myself into a negative thought process.  I played a few games of solitaire, read a little more of my book and wrote some more.

  Unfortunately my cellmate had to be woke up for 9:00 PM standing count.  Now he'll be up all night!  I'm just glad he leaves soon to boot camp.  He definitely needs it!  It's now 9:30 PM or so.  I forgot to mention that the swamper comes around between 7:00 PM and 8:00 PM giving everyone a cup of ice and toilet paper if they need or want any.  I think I'm going to read a little of my book and try to get some sleep before my cellmate gets into telling his 'tall tales' again.  I guess impressing my cellmates with stories filled with lies and exaggerations just was never my thing.  Anyhow, I'll write more tomorrow for those who are still interested.

~J. Doe